Glad to have me back?

   So its been a while, since Boxing Day in fact, but the whole point is (as me grandmother would say) I'm back. And ye's should all be over-joyed.

   So obviously, this blog is gonna be a long 'un. For your benefit I shall be using a fairly basic form of chaptering my high jinx so as not just to mumble incoherently.

29th of December, 2010

   A party. Of course it is, how else would my story start? One at Jarrod's to be precise. Now then, I walked from me mother's place to the college and wor Rolf give 'is a bell to direct me to the flat. Upon arrival, already quite drunk, singing Market Square Hero fairly loudly, Rolf handed me a rather smashing Praktica LTL and having lost my last Soviet camera at Thorpe bloody Park of all places, I was in a sodding good mood, handed him me Leffe glasses I had for him, received a bottle o' Dog and wandered about in a thoroughly good mood with myself.

   Then I thought tobogganing was a fantastic idea for an indoor sport, broke a bin lid, owned up to it and had to find somewhere else to kip. To be fair to Jarrod, I did also hide cans and bottle all over his house, though, he wont know about that.

   Upon arrival at Brand HQ then, I had to be all ninja and that, what with his da's last words to his sister, Heinrich Himmler, being "don't let him sleep here" it turns out, when you're pished, you can be all ninja, but opening tinnies is fairly loud and so Miss Marple walked in to me trying to hide behind a semi-clad Charles. Hilarity ensued and we ended up at Charles' gaff, because she kicked us out, at half three in the morn'. Needless to say, her boyfriend wasn't the most helpful person to have stood behind her like some sort of over-protective berk, but never mind, I think I'll get over it.

Katherine Brand

   The walk to Charles' was a bit surreal, with a stop off at the Premier Inn and with there being no room at the 'Inn so close to the festive period, we all became biblical characters for some twenty minutes as we struggled across town.

   Of course, a thanks to Jane again for her hospitality, and to Charles for the pair of socks.

   On the subject of footwear, I would apologise for putting people's shoes on the roof when I left Jarrod's, but to be honest, I've come to the conclusion that I should only apologise for regrettable instances, and I don't regret that at all, it was jokes.

New Years' Eve', 2010-11

   Of course, this was a busy night, during the day we were busy bottling up the AY Brewing Co.'s latest bevvy ThudSplashFlap and then in the evening, drinking the vinegar-like substance with great hesitation. I'd been staying at Ed's for the most part of the week (many thanks again to Karen) with occasional visits to me ma's to see the bairn and receive the unnerving level of hospitable behaviour, egg and chips.

   Come the actual evening then and "pre-lash" - as it has come to be known - round Ed's continued into the taxi and round to Ryan's place where, from what I remember, I almost sat on a lass I then tried to chat up, saw Kelly and got me secret Santa presents a Man Flu Survival Kit and a leopard print thong, gave my present to Keirsty, the mug with my arse on it, and then proceeded to vomit pretty much everywhere.

   It was one of those nights where you but back a couple of cans and a bottle of Leffe and then chunder everywah like you're in Burma. I've been known to put back fifteen or more and walk away with a slight wobble but I suppose its the luck of the draw in the end.

Zedman enjoys her first taste of ThudSplashFlap

   The last moments of 2010 were spent swallowing my own vomit, wrestling Ed in a bathroom, falling downstairs onto Shaunagh, kissing somebody and then seeing 2011 in with a party-boy. All in just a thong.

   When I woke up (yes, I passed out) I apparently turned into a child and decided bothering everybody was a good idea. I left at about four and then had to break into Ed's place, basically.

The next few days

   The hangover was a long one and I did nothing toward my impending sociology exam, I found COD's historical inaccuracies frustrating and me and Black Jenni finally had a Chinese, even if it was in a beer garden at some ungodly hour out the back ot the Newey with some woman having some sort of stroke on the table next to us. The point is, we fulfilled a life goal.

   Of course, over these next few days I was informed of my complete disgrace on New Years'. Apparently, I was quite rapey. I went for a few pints with some friends and coffees with others but in the end I had to leave Aylesbury again and the coach journey was long. Particularly as I spent most of it passing out from the dangerous dinner time bevvies and the waking up really suddenly from the motorway coffee.

Then to now

   So that was what you'd missed, now since returning to college and to Washington I've been fairly busy, revising mostly or complaining to myself about not revising but Friday gone my exam went well and I'm feeling canny about the whole thing.

   I've started uploading songs onto Bandcamp as El Richito Bandito. So far, its just the one, and the chords are nicked from a song I'd written the music for the band, when I was in it, but the lyrics weren't mine, so I've haphazardly written new 'uns. Check them out.

   One night last weekend I got a phone call from wor Ashley that lasted three or four hours which doesn't seem that odd in terms of these crazy teenage lives we all live, but she rang me pished at one o'clock in the morn', so I didn't get much sleep.

   

   Today then, - though its two in the morning so, yesterday - myself and the afore-mentioned blogging colleague Rude Rabbit who is currently residing in the spare room took the magical X1 into Newcastle and marched against public service and education cuts, as you do. As a new thing for the Rabbit, he did bloody well for himself, even making a speech. A bloody speech! And tomorrow I'm taking him back to wor fine city to experience yet another of the north east's cultural delights, other than working-class political activism, getting drunk and watching the derby.

   So on that, I leave you, because its daft o'clock, pure windy as outside and I need some sleep. I'll probably blog tomorrow now I'm back on the tracks, if not, most likely Tuesday. But before I go, can I please ask everybody to attend the Bombarding The Cottesloe School Page event and wait for further instruction, even if you don't care, this is a positive form of that "cyber bullying" they keep warning you about, a kind that's okay to do because the people we're going to bully are bad. Anyway.

   Glad to have me back?

-Nous.