International relationship status.

   By the way, I tried to go all Hunter S. Thompson in the last blog, I started it in the morning, went out, came back twelve hours later, got drunk finished it badly and posted it. It was shit to start with, mind. So I'm sorry.

   I thought it was about time I gave you a rant about Korea, the UK media's quaint view of the situation is humouring me of late.

   The way I see it is; if fifty odd year ago England and Scotland had been a unified country, let's call it "Scengland" and a communist uprising formed in Scotland and then France helped the Scenglish government to fight it back to Carlisle, well then fifty years later France and England testing weapons out and playing war games in Berwick-upon-Tweed would seem a bad idea anyway. But then you're reminded that Alex Salmond is Kim Jong Il, an absolute nutter of titanic proportions.

As a box of frogs.

   Put into context it appears a different situation, eh? A bombardment of Berwick seems measured now.

   Don't get me wrong, North Korea's a weird place and I'm not going all UK Bolshevik Union on you or something but the west knows next to nothing about the country yet feels its necessary to bully it. It seems unjust. 

   North Korea's relationship with it's "communist" nieghbours China is an interesting one, especially in the light of the recent Wikileaks files. To paraphrase comrade Patrick, North Korea is like a younger brother to China. China slags North Korea off to her mates the UK and US and when her boyfriend Russia comes round she has to hide him or ignore him. Occasionally North Korea will do the political equivalent of shaving your big sister's Barbie doll and test nuclear weapons on her border but all in all, China's not threatened, only ever embarrassed or annoyed. When North Korea has a falling out with China's friend the US's little brother South Korea, the big sisters just want them to get along. You can see where I'm going with this.

   Of course, I sympathise with none of them.

   In other news, FIFA have a lot to sort out, a few hours ago the host countries for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups were announced, England's 2018 bid failed and Russia picked it up whereas the small gulf state of Qatar will be hosting the World Cup 2022.

   Now, as the biggest anti-nationalist, anti-patriot you'll meet I don't care that we don't have it, the entire exercise has become a bastardised method of advertising for the same brands every four years. 2010 South Africa was global capitalism on speed, taking advantage of the third world in the most depressing of way and leaving nothing of any benefit to the people at all. The next competition will be held in Brazil, themed swimwear and pictures of Pele will be order of the day and I can imagine the Coca Cola adverts now. But Russia and Qatar? Really? We send a prince and David shitting Cameron to save face over the behaviour of our press and files leaked in recent weeks but I thought the whole thing was about football.

   Interestingly, Cameron has come out as a Villa fan which gives us all another reason to hate both of them.

   No, football is now at the bottom of the list, it now comes down to name calling, face and personal profit. Much in the same way children behave Russia has won 2018 because its becoming the super-power it once was, once again and Qatar will host a competition its people know very little about because the inhabitants of the Arabian peninsular fall just short of being literally made of money. 

   Or to put it another way, Russia's been very liberal with the Farmville invites and Qatar is now friends with The West - Sepp Blatter likes this.

-Nous