I speak funny.

   I felt it was about time I explained to you why I speak funny.
   Born in Gateshead, raised in Washington by a Geordie dad and Oxford-hailing mam I've never had a Geordie accent really. When I was ten and we moved to Shitley Bay I had to change me accent to avoid sounding "like a mackem" but I wasn't there long and so when we then moved down to Aylesbury me idiolect was in limbo, still trying to sound Geordie in a vain attempt of overt prestige and yet having to slow me pace, flatten me vowels and clear me diction so this lot could understand worr'a wis sayin'.
   And so for a year or two that continued and then a strange phase of sounding like I was from Leeds, the less said about that the better. I think meeting Joe and David shaped my speech greatly. Dave's north east roots made it possible for him to understand me, same goes for wor Charlee and Joe's Glaswegian lilts made my stomach throw deep booming round vowel sounds into my chatter as we competed to be the most incoherent speakers in Vale.
   All this made me a bit nerdy about spoken language and linguistics and stuff and maybe that's why I picked up so much basic French while in France and why I want to study Arabic now. Strange really.
  Anyway, as the years passed my Geordie dropped somewhat and  this left my idiolect fluid and floppy. Visits to Glasgow have given me "yas" and "ketch'yiftir", reading Irvine Welsh has given me "likesay" and my seven years in Aylesbury, Multicultural London English staples "bare", "long", "eneh" and "peng", to name but a few, as additions to my vast and wonderful vocabulary.
   So moving back to Washington after being laughed at for the way in which I speak for best part of a decade leaves me in a bit of a pickle, do I fight the accent change and stay independent and unique or do I let me accent evolve like the language its based in and see what happens? Either way I reckon it'll be interesting.
   Thanks for reading this again, lucky you anyway, twice in two days, I spoil you.
-Nous.