Laptop Nazis.

   Friends, followers, Elliot,
   We've got a new computer, the last one died so we've replaced it, like a dog or a family member. Brilliant as this is, its taken the mother less time to strangle online freedom than the Chinese government.
   Except, she's a dafty so it'll be him then.
   I've just been told the laptop's gonna turn off in twenty minutes, because there's a timer on it now, it turns off at nine o'clock. Why? Why the fuck does it need to? On a Sunday! On a fucking Sunday! On a Sunday where tomorrow I've no school! Fucking graaaaggghh!!!
   Sorry.
   Not only this but she's also employed a "child safety" feature and put a pin on the Sky box which it asked me for earlier to watch a film rated 15. Censorship can fucking die. My kids are being encouraged to watch porn just to spite this woman.
   I stress that my frustration is not through my struggle for hand-shandy now. She knows full well that I'm not gonna go for wanking material on here, she's doing it to piss me off, to get at me.
   Anything, absolutely anything to get my back up.
   She's sat through the front room watching X-Factor filling the room full of smoke slowly killing herself, the bloke and the bairn and yet stops me from watching The Inbetweeners in the house in case me sister hears the word clunge from upstairs. Stupid, bitter hypocrite.
   My life's not worth the bother of telling her these things though, it never is.
   On the bright side though, Thatcher's nearly dead. Remember, the Saturday after she snuffs it, party, Trafalgar Square, 6pm - bring a bottle, bring a friend.
   Last night was Shned's 18th and a mullering night it was too. I was told I was an attractive young man, which is an ego boost at any time. For some reason I asked what could be done to improve such attributes, "loose a bit of weight" was the reply, I then must have spent a good twenty minutes telling all who's listen "I'm going on a diet!" which is bollocks.
Keep calm and carry on - Nous.